Sexuality jokes

a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer
 whose zipper is
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks
 doors are open".
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued
 shopping. A few
moments later another customer approached the man and explained
that his zipper
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At
the checkout he ran into the woman who originally informed
him of his zipper.He decides to play into her unusual comment;
 "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full
attention?" The woman responded by saying " no, all i saw
 was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
bags"       

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.
 He asks his father for
help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential
 and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says,
"I'll demonstrate. Go ask
your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million
 dollars. Then
go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for
a million dollars. Then
come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom,
if someone gave you a
million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone
 gave you a million
dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "O my god! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've
 figured it out.
Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks,
 but in reality, we are living
with two sluts."

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,
 she noticed someone had
written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters.
 She turned around, scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none,
 she quickly erased it, and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw,
 in larger letters, the word
'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked
around in vain for the
culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the
 day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom
 and found the
same word written on the board, and each day it was written
 in larger letters.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by
 the same word on
the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub
 it, the bigger it
gets!"